Those of You, who have been following me for some time now, probably know that besides being a parodist, I'm also a writer. Matter of fact, I've been a writer first and a parodist later. Although I only write for myself, I always took it very seriously, just like I take the craft of storytelling itself very seriously.
In my head, there are about 3 dozen books, that I once wanted to write. The desire to tell these tales has always been there. And for a time, I did. I started more than just one of these stories, but sooner or later, I stopped. My reasons for that were of personal nature, so I don't want to talk about those here, but what I want to talk about is, that no matter, what happens, if You're like me, are a writer at heart, You should never stop writing. Because You will get out of practice, You will not evolve, and if You look back years later, You will regret it. Very much so, I might add.
Everytime I go through my old stuff, and I reread some of the things I'v written, I always feel bad for quiting on them. Some of them seem better now, than when I wrote them, some of them feel very raw and unpolished, some of them outright terrible, but there are those, that feel good now. But they also feel like someone else wrote them. Because the way I am now, I don't believe that I could have written something that good. And it's probably true, due to a lack of practice, amongst other things.
And everytime that happens, I feel bad, and I regret. Regret, that I did not stick to writing those books, regret that I have waisted so many years instead of sticking to working on them.
Usually, when I make up a basic plotline for a book, it feels really good to me, and there's an unsaid promise of a great work. Then, the more and more I write, the more unsatisfied I get, because I'm a bloody perfectionist, and no matter how good or bad I am, I'm never satisfied with what I do. And through writing more and more, that idea, that once felt great and promising, slowly starts to feel defiled and let down. Which is why it usually always ends up at the same place - I quit. Because I don't feel good enough, because I'm stupid enough to hold myself to the highest expectations that I just can not fulfill.
There were quite a few personal matters, that led me to this, but it's also about not feeling good enough. But that's no reason to quit. It might feel right in the moment, but when You look back years later, reread some of your work, and go "Hey, that's actually really good, I want to read the rest of the story!" and then there's nothing more. Because You quit. Because you gave up and never finished something, that You now awfully regret. And You want to continue it now, but You don't. Because You're affraid. Affraid, that You're no good anymore, that You're not the same person who wrote those old things. So once again, You quit. You leave it be. And You're filled with regret and guilt.
So let me say this to You now, to all the writers at heart out there, reading this, if You love writing, if You feel that inside your head, there's a story worth telling, do not give up! No matter, how bad it is, no matter how unsatisfied You are, do not give up. Even if You're only writing for yourself, even if You only do it as a hobby, do not give up. Because trust me, when I say this, You will regret it. Sonner or later, You will. And You don't want to end up in that place. Trust me. So keep on dreaming, keep on plotting and keep on writing. Do yourself a favour. Do not give up. You're might not be the next George R. R. Martin, but what You produce, might still have a reason to exist. Even if that reason is only to fulfill a need of self-fulfillment.
I hope some of You out there can relate to this and it will help You along your way.
Keep on dreaming. Keep on writing.
Your friendly neighborhood Y.O.U.R.